billy, eat your... oatmeal scones

Let's talk about moronic children. We all know the Pediasure commercial with the mom and girl, mom strolling along, pushing brat in shopping cart (instead of making her walk). Mom reaches for broccoli, brat says she hates it. Mom reaches for chicken breasts, brat again declares her disdain for it, which is kind of unbelievable since children will eat chicken over most meats. I'd have thought she was a little vegetarian and it would have made sense, but she denied the broccoli. So again, the mom reaches for waffle mix and the brat, you guessed it, tells the mom waffle suck. Really? Waffles? Clearly this child is Damian-a.

Then there's the fish stick commercial. "YOU'RE SERVING ME MINCED FISH? HOW CAN YOU CATCH A MINCED FISH!?" A) No kid knows what a minced fish is. B) Again it's a mom and a daughter who's acting like a little twerp. The mom then gives the kid name-brand fish sticks that aren't minced. What you don't see in the commercial is the cut clip of the mom banging the plate on the table, telling the girl, "HERE'S YOUR NON-MINCED FISH. EAT IT AND BE GRATEFUL, INGRATE."

(Thanks, Jez.)

Summing up, if you're kid won't eat oatmeal then you should try these. But I'd refrain from mentioning the starving-kids-in-China part if they are inclined to be precocious -- "What will the starving kids in China eat if I eat the oatmeal?"

I've been mixing up scones quite a bit lately. I've gone through too much unsalted butter to even think about. But I saw these and needed to give them a go. This is another Dorie Greenspan recipe, and it combines oatmeal with fresh nutmeg, bananas and blueberries, all four things I enjoy, but in scone form. It also uses buttermilk as the liquid, which I find delightful since I like baking with buttermilk. And so does Dorie, apparently. Booya!

Perfect for breakfast, these were just sweet enough without being better for dessert. The texture of the oatmeal complimented the flakiness of the scone, which I thought gave it a nice mouth feel. These would be great toasted the next day.

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oatmeal nutmeg scones
From Baking ~ from my home to yours by Dorie Greenspan

ingredients ~
1 large egg
1/2 cup cold buttermilk
1 2/3 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/3 cups old-fashioned oats
1/3 cup sugar
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
1 stick plus 2 tablespoons (10 tablespoons) cold unsalted butter, cut into small pieces

directions ~

1. Center a rack in the oven and preheat the oven to 400°. Line a baking sheet with parchment or a silicone mat (I just greased the sheet).


2. Stir the egg and buttermilk together.


3. Whisk the flour, oats, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, salt and nutmeg together in a large bowl. Drop in the butter and, using your fingers, toss to coat the pieces of butter with flour. Quickly, working with your fingertips or a pastry blender, cut and rub the butter into the dry ingredients until the mixture is pebbly. You'll have pea-size pieces, pieces the size of oatmeal flakes and pieces the size of everything in between ~~ and that's just right.


4. Pour the egg and buttermilk mixture over the dry ingredients and stir with a fork just until the dough, which will be wet and sticky, comes together. Don't overdo it.


5. Still in the bowl, gently knead the dough by hand, or turn it with a rubber spatula 8 to 10 times. turn the dough out onto a lightly floured work surface and divide it in half. Working with one piece at a time, pat the dough into a rough circle that's about 5 inches in diameter, cut it into 6 wedges and place on the baking sheet. (At this point, the scones can be frozen on the baking sheet, then wrapped airtight. Don't defrost before baking ~~ just add about 2 minutes to the baking time.)


6. Bake for 20 to 22 minutes, or until their tops are golden and firmish. Transfer them to a rack and cool for 10 minutes before serving, or wait for the scones to cool to room temperature.

Dorie also likes to add tips to many of her recipes to give you options.

playing around
Fruity oatmeal-nutmeg scones: Scones in general and these in particular are good with a little fruit mixed into them. Try adding small chunks of banana to the dough before you stir in the egg and buttermilk (cut 1/2 banana into 1/2-inch dice). These are also good with about 1/2 cup diced prunes or small cubes of plump dried apricot added to the dough.